i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
