; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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