i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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