Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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