Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
