i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
