I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
