I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
