They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
