i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
