so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
