You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
