Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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