lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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