I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
