the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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