Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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