Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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