Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
