Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
