Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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