yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
