You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
