I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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