i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
