honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
