I love black thongs
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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