Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
