Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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