I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
