Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
