Nicole vs. Life
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
