I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
