Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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