I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
