The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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