There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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