But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
