OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
50% drunk capacity currently
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
