can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
