so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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