They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
