Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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