Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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