Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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