I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
