Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize