this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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