Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
