where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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