clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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