and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
