this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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