i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
