He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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