please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
