He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
