So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
