He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
