I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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