i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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