addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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